More Evidence That We Can Relax About Child Sleep
I am a fan of Matt Walker, and although he has been the target of criticism and controversy – he still has great information. I appreciate the criticism and the controversy. Both challenge me and make me think, reassess and reshape my program. The impact of sleep on our health and well-being is significant and indisputable. More on Matt Walker …
Don’t worry. Be sleepy.
What I love most about this article is that it offers a science-based review and overriding message to – A.) tune into your child and B.) trust your own intuition over books and “experts.” This is calming to parents and calm humans sleep better. LINK: The BBC: The science of healthy baby sleep Amanda Ruggeri is an English journalist, editor, photographer, …
Bedsharing Part 2
Mothers come to me each day feeling distraught and in downright despair from the social pressure to co-sleep. They share deep-seated guilt in their knowing that they quite simply – can NOT pull it off. They think that if they don’t choose co-sleeping that there is only one other choice: traditional sleep “training” that involves “cry-it-out.” Every day I hear …
Bedsharing: Part 1
Posted on Facebook by a Doula Service: Sleep with your children, hug each other while you can under the covers, do not be afraid of that addiction. Children are small only once, then when they grow up they will find their way and their spaces. Sleep heart against heart, so much so that you feel their breath, because there is …
Compassionate Sleep Solutions Receives 2020 Boulder Award
BOULDER March 11, 2020 — Compassionate Sleep Solutions has been selected for the 2020 Boulder Award in the Sleep Consultant category by the Boulder Award Program. Each year, the Boulder Award Program identifies companies that we believe have achieved exceptional marketing success in their local community and business category. These are local companies that enhance the positive image of small …
Letting Our Children Face Their Fears
I LOVE finding research that backs up my program and how I work with parents and children. Most of the children in my practice are entering into a stage of development when separation anxiety presents itself. How we meet this in our children and respond to these natural feelings will teach the child a lot about themselves. And in doing …
Secure Attachment: And how our internal dialogue influences it.
An essential characteristic of the child’s early experience is that the mother acts as a “hidden” regulator of the infant’s immature endocrine and nervous system. ~ Allan N. Schore How does our own connection and/or disconnection with the self play a role in our attachment with our children? Dr. Dan Siegel is a very important resource for parents, and his …
Night Lights
Most often I recommend complete darkness. However, sometimes the the developing child needs to see where they are moving in the night. Gross motor development can be very disruptive to sleep. Everything this toddler is doing in the day, he is also doing in his crib at night. The crib is a busy place. The brain is revisiting all they …
#Father – The New Masculine
A New Masculine Paradigm I’ve noticed something over the last five years. Every week I am talking to more and more dads. More fathers are reaching out for sleep help and today I would say that for initial phone conversations 90% of the time both dad and mom are on the call. Some Stats on American Dads More dads are …
Affection and Physical Touch
There have been a number of recent studies that highlight the relationship between parental affection and children’s happiness and success. READ MORE ON STUDY How we touch, hold and gaze into the eyes of our infants, from the moment they are born, is imperative in building healthy attachment. As our children grow and develop every interaction we have will shape …
Empathy and Compassion
Empathy and Compassion: Our children will learn it from us. They will learn it from how we feel it, show it, and do it. And doing compassion is sitting with the inability to really DO anything at all. We don’t just do something – we sit there. We listen, we remain present, we empathize. We teach it from the beginning …
2017 Top Health Blog – Compassionate Sleep Solutions
Sleep Is An Increasing Health Issue/Borderline Health Crisis Last week I lost a lot of sleep. I am in a new transition as a parent. The transition not all of us have to make. The one where we must show up to parent our aged parent. It is exhausting because development at this point, for my mother, is going backwards. …
Fantasy and Reality Parenting
What happens when the fantasy of how we hoped we would be as a parent, meets the reality of our child? I was sharing with a friend this morning that I really imagined I would never yell at my child(ren). He knows me so of course he chuckled and said, “You are kidding right?” Last week was a great week …
Fall Back Into Solution
Every summer we get off of our routine with sleep and with life in general. We all fall out of habit at some point(s) in our lives. We don’t do it because we are wrong, bad or weak. We do it because we are human. The main reason why parents don’t reach out to me for support is because of …
Infant Sleep and Parental Self-soothing
A typical day in the life of my Inbox Email Subject: Help with crying From: Aaron and his ten-month-old daughter: She was a good sleeper for about six-months. Suddenly everything we were doing has stopped working. My wife nurses her to sleep every night. And now as soon as we start to lower her into the crib her eyes pop …
Baby Sleep: On Their Own – With Our Help
A typical day in the life of my Inbox. Email subject: HELP!!!! From: Alex and her eight-month-old baby. I don’t know what happened. Things were going so well. I would nurse her to sleep and she slept for four or five hour stretches. All of a sudden she is up every hour or two crying. It feels like I have …
SIDS Data – Is YOUR baby at risk?
Most likely the answer is – no. I have added some charts that I found interesting and informative along with the links that provide more information. Take a look at the following and draw your own conclusions on whether or not you feel like these statistics apply to you and your family. This study published on NPR is worth a read …
Attachment Theory and Limbic Attunement
Learning to Sleep and Strengthening the Bond The sleep program I have developed is rooted in Attachment Theory and the importance of Limbic Attunement. Dr. Allan N. Schore, from the Department of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences at the University of California at Los Angeles School of Medicine, with a scholarly article entitled “Effects of a Secure Attachment Relationship On Right …
The Kitchen Sink of Mindfulness
In his book The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation, Thich Nhat Hanh offers everyday moments where we can practice mindfulness. From The Miracle of Mindfulness While washing the dishes one should only be washing the dishes, which means that while washing the dishes, one should be completely aware of the fact that one is washing the dishes. …
Meditation Made Simple – Grounding Meditation
Mindfulness practices can be simple. They can be short. They must be practiced. Like any habit mindfulness must be done consistently and repetitively for the benefit to be realized. Here is the first in a series of practices even a busy parent can incorporate into their day. Every day I remind parents – WE are the emotional anchor for the child. To …
Toddlers Need An Accurate Mirror!
What is the biggest mistake a parent can make with a toddler? Yesterday a father asked me this great question. Here is my answer. First of all, most of us go off the rails in toddlerhood. When the child starts to move into autonomy and push back and push us away – we react. Autonomy is an essential part of …
AAP New SIDS Recommendation – Does it apply to you?
Mommy’s Number One Job! Keep her baby safe. And since this picture is not a sustainable solution in doing so… What is a good mother to do? This week’s revised report on SIDS and Sleep Related Deaths has my Email and Voicemail full of questions. What are concerned, engaged and aware parents to do? As I mentioned in my news …
AAP Changes Recommendations for SIDS
New Information on SIDS and Other Sleep-Related Infant Deaths: Updated 2016 Recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics for a Safe Infant Sleeping Environment Announced October 24th 2016: This announcement is based on new research and is the first time the AAP has updated its policy since 2011. The new recommendation: Recommendations call for infants to share their parents’ bedroom for at …
Maggie and Matt
We did the new protocol last night & definitely picked up on the cycling cry & we were able to allow her work thru it by herself last night 🙂 took about 12-15 mins? We cannot THANK YOU enough; the call yesterday was SO SO SO ENLIGHTENING. We both learned so much, it was definitely a mind-expanding experience for both …
Leony Van De Belt
Eileen you are a miracle worker. Not only is Noah sleeping through he night and having regular naps, now I have the confidence to keep sleep on track.
KC Guarascio
holy shit! i have to say holy shit! in fact, i remember writing the same damn (have to say that too) thing to you a year ago when you’re amazing kick-ass advice worked!! one night eileen..one fucking night..that’s all it took..(well…i should’nt hold my breath..we’re only on night 2) but he got it at bedtime on night 1….i did 2 …
Laurel, Daniel, and Henry Scarozza
Dear Eileen, I just wanted to thank you for your amazing advice. I put the sleep plan into action almost 2 weeks ago now, and on day 4 Henry went to sleep without crying and slept through the night, and has ever since then! Thank you for giving me the tools and support that I needed to make this necessary …
Christy Bouldin
Before I worked with Eileen and Compassionate Sleep Solutions, my sleep was so minimal that I didn’t know what else to do. My husband and I were getting 90 minutes of sleep at a time before my 4 –month-old would cry out for a feeding. He was barely getting 2 hours of sleep at a time. He never really slept …
Megan Vos
My daughter, Julia, will be 2 next month. We did your comprehensive plan last fall and have had great success with both naps and nighttime sleep. My husband and I always say that it’s the best money we’ve spent on anything child-related!
Theresa McNamee
Eileen, Thank you so much for all your help. We followed the sleep plan for Michael and he is not only putting himself to sleep at night but has slept an 8 and 10hour stretch! Thanks Theresa McNamee
Averi Loring and Lemmon
I am sure like most parents, we came to Eileen in a moment of desperation. Our daughter was 9 months old and waking every hour to two hours in the night to be nursed back to sleep. During the day, I would hold her and bounce on an exercise ball for up to an hour until she’d fall asleep for …
Casey Tupin
I just want to echo Annika. I have literally told 15 people about you saying it’s probably the best money we have ever spent on parenting. We really think you have such a great mix of evidence, nurturing advice, and honesty when you’re just giving us anecdotal information. It made it much easier for me, at least, to buy into …
Infant Self Soothing – They are not as fragile as you think!
Research reveals that infants possess remarkable ability to self-soothe. Mothers and infants are constantly going in and out of synchrony. – David Schnarch, Ph.D. The moments of synchrony are what we all seek. These are are those times when we are in sync with our children. We are working together in simultaneous harmony. All good parents and caregivers have two overriding …
Crying and The Gentle Approach
Compassionate Sleep Solutions is an honest and authentic approach to sleep. My bias is that this is the best for our children. Most often when parents say “gentle” what they mean is no or at the very least less crying. My program makes every effort to reduce the crying and doing so in complete disclosure and transparency to the child. …
Coping With Anxiety Around The Cry
Facing Your Baby’s Cry It is natural for a parent to experience a rise in anxiety at the sound of their child’s cry. It is natural for a mother to experience more anxiety than dad at the sound of her child’s cry. It is natural to respond to your child. The Crying Face Of Your Baby It is natural for …
Join my FREE introductory RIE Mindful Moments Class
Free Preview! When: Friday, October 16th 10-11am Where: 1556 Greenbriar Boulder, CO 80305 Who: Moms and their 4-9 month old infants Hurry, space is limited to the first 15 people who sign up! In the Free Preview I will give you my exclusive, “Coping With the Cry, 6 Steps to a Stressless Mommy” Friday Morning Class – 10:00 – 11:00 …
Dear Zombie Parent – Changing Sleep Hard But Rewarding!
A sample email from a desperate and exhausted mommy. Message to Compassionate Sleep Solutions: My 7-month old nurses to sleep for nights and naps. He wakes exhausted and so do I. He wakes after 45 minutes of night sleep, and continues to wake every few minutes to every two hours all night long. I am a zombie and not able …
The Rabbit Who Wants To Fall Asleep: My opinion
This bunny has hopped his way to the top of the Amazon chart. This is a testament to how desperate parents are to find something, anything, to get their child to sleep. “In the book, Ehrlin, a Swedish psychologist, tells the story of a rabbit named Roger who wants to go to sleep but can’t. It’s not the most compelling …
Newborn Sleep
Sleep can and will be yours! For the newborn this happens over time – with your help. It is hard to know what is normal sleep for a newborn and what is simply asking too much. If you compare your sleep situation to other new parents you might start to wonder if you gave birth to a bad sleeper. You …
Falling Peacefully to Sleep – A Learned Skill
It’s 7:00 pm. Bedtime. You and your child go through a nightly ritual in properly preparing for sleep. It has been a long day and both of you are looking forward to getting some soothing and much deserved rest. You place your child in the crib, kiss her goodnight, turn off the lights, and your baby peacefully falls asleep. You …
The Newborn Sleep Book and Getting NEWBORNS To Sleep Through the Night?
Complete night weaning at birth? This doesn’t sound good. I know humans (even human infants) are very adaptable and no doubt we can “reset the hunger cues” in an infant. But just because we can, does it mean we should? The Newborn Sleep Book Pediatricians Lewis and Jonathan Jassey, authors of “The Newborn Sleep Book” say sleep success for your …
Babies and the Need For Touch
“How did you sleep?” “Oh, I slept like a baby. Every two hours I woke up screaming.” New parents may fail to appreciate the humor inherent in the above exchange. Even non-parents are vaguely aware that this sort of thing goes on (for three to twelve months!), but not being parents, their attitude is, “Well, good luck with all that!” …
Is This Baby Awake or Sleeping? Newborn REM Sleep
If we consider how fast our infants are developing and remember that development is the very cause of interruption to sleep in the first few years of life, it would make sense that anything that happens in the crib/bed is normal. Many of the much talked about “sleep regressions” are actually developmental advancements that interrupt sleep. As the brain grows …
Are We Martyrs to Our Children's Crying?
At a Mom’s group once, I overheard a mother say that she “wouldn’t even talk to another mother who let her child ‘cry it out.’ ” Her bluntness stuck me, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by it. Everyday you can meet people in various stages of parenting. Some seem to be cruising through it—balancing two kids on the …
Child Sleep and Parental Guilt Part 2: How to get the sleep and drop the guilt
From Part 1 of my child sleep and parental guilt post till now I have discussed this topic several times a day in phone support with my clients and with girlfriends. We all feel guilty at some point. This parenting thing we do is a very personal matter. When it comes to sleep, no matter what everyone else is doing, …
Your Child's Sleep and the School Start
Schedule shifting in the summer time leads to a sleep deficit. I know that, I teach that, and yet this summer we fell into some late nights and late mornings. Although my children are older now (11 and 12), they still require a good amount of sleep to function in school (9-10 hours). Learn a few key points to re-pattern …
Sleep Interruptions That Also Facilitate Sleep
I encourage parents to give their infants plenty of “floor time” during the day. All movement learned will be practiced both during the waking hours and in the crib. This can cause sleep interruptions and yet the more practice time we give our infants during the day the better they can incorporate these movements into their sleep repertoire. Once our …
What Every Parent Needs To Know About TV
Watch This Video What Every Parent Needs to Know About TV This TED Talk is an important 16 minutes for any parent. I tell my clients to view the following as health and safety issues. Sleep – Healthy sleep habits are a HUGE part of good health and development. Diet – Good nutrition can affect our children well into …
Lullaby Your Baby
Lull your baby bye bye with your voice. I encourage parents to turn off the music playing turtles and lullaby cd’s and use YOUR own voice to sing to your babies and children at night. No matter what you think of your own singing voice, your child thinks that your voice, coming out of your face, is the most beautiful …
Baby and Mommy Animal Sleep
Newborn Sleep Looks Like This It is the up close sweetness of those early months. So very yummy! The limbic brained mommy animal (animals who nurse their young) are regulating a lot of systems in their newborn babies. In the following two videos you can see the kitten go into a bit of sleep disruption and the mommy does her …
Baby Sleep and Sound Machines
New Research on Sound Machines in the Nursery Infants are experiencing all of their senses at once. This is why their environment can easily become overstimulating and too much sensory input can make it harder to drift off to sleep. There is some evidence that baby sleep and sound machines can be a good combination. When parents ask about white …
The Science of Stress and Sleep Training
I have been wading through the research for over two decades now. Some of it is good science. Much of it, I just don’t know. I am the Bill Murray of Sleep Busters…Back off man, I am NOT a scientist. I am a science enthusiast. I love it. I can’t get enough of it. And I especially love when …
Elevating Child Care: A guide to respectful parenting NOW out in paperback!
Congratulations to Janet Lansbury and many thanks to her for being such an inspiration in the practice of parenting. I recommend her book to all parents! For all of us who are deepening this practice of respect in our relationships Janet is an inspiration in this regard. Janet’s blog http://www.janetlansbury.com/ is a wonderful resource. There are many blogs out there …
Child Sleep and Parental Guilt: Part 1
Do you feel bad about how you are doing child sleep? Does it feel wrong to want more sleep than you are getting? At some point on every call I hear parents berating themselves for the way they are handling their child’s sleep. Sometimes it feels like I am sitting in the phone booth confessional. Can you tell I was …
What To Do If Your Baby Wakes Up Too Early
Are you frustrated when your baby wakes up too early? Believe it or not you do not have to live with a 5:00 a.m. wake up time if you prepare your child with a healthy sleep routine. There are sleep solutions to all of your child’s sleep problems. You can reclaim your sanity! I often ask parents to consider certain …
Children Learning To Fall and Falling Asleep
Falling Asleep I invite parents to view the “falling” of falling asleep just like the falling that our children inevitably do when learning to crawl, walk, run, climb and ride bikes. Here is a list of sleep crutches we provide to fix that falling. nursing ~ rocking ~ walking ~ holding ~ wearing ~ patting Imagine handing a toddler a pair …
Baby Sleep…please baby please!
Over the holidays I became a grandmother… of a new kitten. Being already gifted at anthropomorphizing, I soon felt like one of my clients. It felt so great and so right to have this kitten sleep on us for all of her sleep. She is so tiny, so soft and so vulnerable. She had just left her litter, her mommy, …
Child Sleep and Getting Back The Routine
Happy New Year! The party is over…THANK goodness! Now that the holidays are behind us, many families are ready to get back on track with sleep. I get a flood of calls after the holidays. Families have traveled, guests have gone home, children and parents are recovering from nasty colds and viruses that were passed around, and all of us …
Holiday Sleep Routine
This week on NPR, more good news about the importance of a consistent bedtime. This recent study of young children and sleep ,out of the University College of London, supports a bedtime routine and more importantly a regular bedtime for young children. In this study data was collected on over 10, 000 children and their families over a period of …
Sleep For The Holidays
Do you know a mom who is suffering from lack of sleep?… interrupted sleep?…irregular sleep? Have you been thinking of purchasing a sleep plan but think that perhaps your child will grow out of his/her current sleep issues? Now is the time to give the gift of sleep to yourself or someone you love. I have found over the …
Tips On Holiday Travel and Child Sleep
Tips For Taking Sleep On The Road Holidays, travel, guests and parties. All of these events can really affect your child’s sleep. With the continual development that is already happening in your child, these additional disruptions can create the perfect storm of sleep disturbance. This month is devoted to… how to plan for and be prepared for the setbacks as …
Fall Back to Sleep
Daylight Savings Time I love everything about the fall. I love the weather, the colors and most of all the “fall back” time change. It’s like I get an extra hour each day, all year long… or at least until that other unspeakable spring ahead thing comes along. For many families this time change is great and mostly works in …
A Good Night’s Sleep Scrubs Your Brain Clean, Researchers Find.
Science gives new meaning and a very positive association to brain washing. “We have a cleaning system that almost stops when we are awake and starts when we sleep. It’s almost like opening and closing a faucet — it’s that dramatic,” says Dr. Maiken Nedergaard, co-director of the Center for Translational Neuromedicine at the University of Rochester Medical Center. Who …
How Important Is Sleep?
Russell Foster is a Circadian Neuroscientist. (How is that for a job title?) If you haven’t seen his Ted Talk, I have included it here in this blog post. Please take 20 minutes and watch the video. Not just for your children, but for yourself. If you live to be 90 years old, 32 years will have been spent asleep. …
Baby Sleep and New Parents
In a recent NBC News online report new parents and sleep woes are front and center. According to this online article… “While every baby is different, a recent survey found that new parents in the UK lose the equivalent of 44 days of sleep in a child’s first year, the Daily Mail reports. And of 13,000 moms and dads in …
Children, Parenting and Sleep
Are we the teachers or the students? This past Christmas my sister gave me a daily desk calendar for Women Who Do Too Much. Ugh…do I really fall into that category? This day and age don’t we ALL? I liked this quote. Sometimes we are caught in the unrealistic belief that our sole responsibility to our children is to teach …
Summer Time and Child Sleep Disruptions
Summertime…and the living is easy… Really? For who? This beautiful song first appears in the opera Porgi and Bess as the character Clara is trying to coax her baby to sleep. It is a sweet favorite of mine and a wonderful lullaby. Now that summer is winding up and coming to a close it is a good time to coax …
Getting Off To The Right Start
The Parenting Place is a wonderful organization located in Boulder, CO. In April, Eileen was invited to talk to a group of moms with young children from newborn to toddlers. In this video Eileen talks about the “Getting Off To The Right Start” program and why it is so important to begin early when allowing your children to learn this …
Child Sleep Problems in the News
I am not one for scare tactics and code red alerts that inspire fear in an effort to grab your attention, especially when it comes to child sleep problems. However, some recent studies on ADD and ADHD and the link to sleep deprivation are worth noting. Articles on Child Sleep Problems A recent New York Times article titled Diagnosing the Wrong …
All Babies Need Their Sleep!
Taking Sleep VS. Crashing Click the title below for a giggle. Cute Baby Animals…trying to get their Z’s Sometimes family and friends send me funny videos similar to the link above of children sleeping. Youtube is full of such clips of babies and toddlers sleeping in highchairs or toddlers and young children standing next to a couch, slumped over and …
How Do I Get My Crying Baby To Sleep?
“Wow! This is the most popular page on my site. Good news, my specialty is helping parents with the cry. I am one of the original “child sleep consultants” in the U.S. and I have developed a unique, ONE OF A KIND process to dramatically reduce crying. This unique process is part of every package. Click here to find practical real …
How Do You Get a Baby to Sleep Through the Night?
This is one of the two most common questions I get asked on a daily basis! (The other one is listed at the end of this post.) The answer to, “How do you get a baby to sleep through the night?” depends on several factors: Your child’s age. The ultimate goal of ” helping your baby to sleep through …
PPD And Sleep
Compassionate Sleep Solutions for Postpartum Depression. Please join me and Monique Rees RN, MA, LPC on Wednesday, April 10th from 12:30 – 2:30 Mindful Mamas-Support Group for New Moms This drop-in group will be a place where new moms (with babies up to about 9 months) can come together to support each other and be supported. The foundations of …
What Babies Know About Newborn Sleep
The Newborn and Sleep (0-4 months). Has my baby forgotten how to sleep? Every mammal comes into this world knowing how to sleep. Our baby animals are no different. I often receive calls from new parents saying this, “She was sleeping so well and at 3-months she started waking every hour to eat and naps are getting harder and harder”. …
Sunday March 10th: Daylight Savings Time
Spring Ahead: Tips for child sleep and time changes. This clock adjustment makes me want to fall back and protest like a toddler! I don’t know about y’all, but I feel like I lose that hour ALL year. When Fall arrives I gloriously set the clock to get it back again. The good news is that if you have an …
Ask Your Sleep Question Here
I am developing a FAQ page for my website and would love your help in discovering what ARE the most frequently asked questions about child sleep. To ask a question or add a comment please register first right over here -> on the right side bar and complete the comment section with your question or concern.
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say…It’s alright Good morning, I am so excited to start my blog. My hope is to provide information and answer questions that bring ease and peace at the setting of the sun. And when that sun rises, with it rises a sense of relief and joy that the day sleep will contribute to …